Dr. Dan Olweus developed this definition of bullying during his many years of bullying prevention research:
Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself.
Bullying can take on many forms—from physical to emotional abuse. In his writings, Dr. Olweus is very clear that bullying is "peer abuse" that should not be tolerated under any circumstances. In fact, more than thirty states have adopted laws against bullying.
Bullying is Not Teasing
It might be hard to tell the difference between playful teasing and bullying. Teasing usually involves two or more friends who act together in a way that seems fun to all the people involved. Often they tease each other equally, but it never involves physical or emotional abuse.
Sometimes children who are being bullied may tell you that the child who is bullying them is their friend. An important part of OBPP is teaching educators and parents the difference between bullying, teasing, or rough and tumble play, and real fighting.
Identifying the Effects of Bullying
As a parent, you may suspect your child is being bullied. If you are not quite sure, review these common signs to help you recognize if bullying is occurring. Your child may:
- come home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings
- have unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches from fighting
- have few, if any, friends with whom he or she spends time
- seem afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers (such as clubs or sports)
- take a long, "illogical" route when walking to or from school
- lose interest in school work or suddenly begin to do poorly in school
- appear sad, moody, teary, or depressed when he or she comes home
- complain frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical problems
- have trouble sleeping or frequent bad dreams
- experience a loss of appetite
- appear anxious and suffer from low self-esteem
Read more about how bullying affects children.
